last year, i have a very good experience of the whole holy week. from palm sunday, thru maundy thursday, good friday and then easter.

this year, was really not the case. everything was really half hearted. and i must admit this. sad, but true.

this year, i was more concern with thing going right. after all i am the one who was responsible for liturgy, even that, i felt i did not really did a good job on planning.

there were screw ups. major ones!!!

but then...that is what planning is all about - screw ups.

back to the topic

i remember last year on maundy thursday, i was one of the 12 diciples who have our feet washed by the priest.

i remember very clearly how sad i felt. i saw jesus washing my unworthy feet. i saw his love for us. i dont feel justified. i felt so ashame. i felt useless....guilty.....remoseful......and i think of all the sins that i have committed......

i ask myself, have i dont anything for jesus. have i done anything worthy to be call diciples of jesus?

good friday became more memorable after the washing of feet. you feel the sadness. the one who went down on his knees to wash your unworthy feet died for you on the cross. u feel so minute. you want to change. you want to do thing for God....then its just all say and no action......

then his resurrection.... he is alive and always by your side.

i hope next year..if he let me live till then, i will have a more fulfilling holy week.

another useless thought