i have a bad sunday.....

maybe i was too tired.....maybe its just me and my bad temper. i dont know. but the canon in me just let go and i become a lose canon! i was cursing and swearing..... it was just pure irritating. at that point, i could have killed someone i guess....

we were going to church early in the morning. as it was on the way, so i drop my mum off to her church before i go to mine.

my mum have a bit of stuff for the church, so i have to drive into her church to drop off some of her stuff. the early service have not end, so many people were standing around waiting for their service. i drove into the drive way slowly.....i did not horn them as i tot it won't be nice. but i approach, people turn around, looked and continuse with their conversation. they simply refuse to move for my car to pass through.

i lost it! the volcano in me just let go!

if it was not my mum's church, i would have horn the hell out of these irritating people! maybe i would have gotten out of the car and give it to them.

it is the driveway...hellloooo!!!!....... cars are suppose to come thru.....

how irritating can some people be. is it pure ignorance or just pure stupidity? or are they injury proof?... i thought

and so the begining of the cursing anad swearing....

i could not stop. i know its not right.

i was driving a bit fast 70km/h on a 60km/h road.....just then an overhead bridge. a traffic police was on it with his money spinning machine - the speed trap camera!

i to damm it...... will i get a ticket and demerit points..... i won't know, it will be a week or so before i will know anything.

i was blinded with all the anger in me. the fire in me covered my vision. i was not concentrating on the road.

my mood was even worst now. the fire in me far exceed the marapi mountain volcano or that of mount saint helen.

then i reach a traffice light. there was a bus in front of me. so i stop a little further away as i usually do in front of big vehicles. there is a left filter lane. i was in between that lane, so no cars can pass thru it.

there was this white toyota rav beind me honking at me..... as i was in a fowl mood, i have no intenstion of moving my car... i was still thinking of that damm speed trap.... i was just bitchy and will no move an inch!

i got more irritated with that car behind that was about to get down my car and give it to him... who does he think he is?

just then the lights turn green and the bus moved off. i stalled for a while cos that damm driver was still honking....

i turn around and ask him in gesture what's his hurry.....i move a litle and he sped off.

i was even more angry now...

and so the cursing and swearing continues.

my poor wife was beside me all this while, witnessing the ugly side me me..... and telling me to calm down.

i know it is wrong, but once the volcano erupts, there is really no stopping.

today is also corpus christi. translation, the body and blood of christ. a big big occasion in the catholic calendar. in fact its bigger than christmas.

i felt even worst that on this day i tarnish the image of christ.

as usual on corpus christi, its the commissioning of communion ministers. i am a bad example to all the people around me. what will people think of me..... a communion minister that is so ugly. such a bad example. i once told the priest that i am not worthy to be a communion minster, cos i know i cant be a good example.

when i reach church, i pray for forgiveness. i pray for peace. and i pray for humility. and i pray for guidance. i hav reflected the entire journey to church......

i am sick of myself to the point of puking. i felt like judas, the one who betrayed jesus.

after mass.... i felt a little better. and a lot calmer. and i manage to find some peace.

it was a bad sunday.

i know every dog has its day, but today it was clearly not the jazzybeagle day.

another useless thought