sometimes, doing God's work can actually shake your faith. you get demoralised. you ask God why. you get tired. you may leave the church altogether. and many do leave the church for good to another faith or to another church.

yes, its hard. the devil usually wins. man are weak by nature. so why do we want to take so much of the shit? the more you move closer to God, the more the devil tries to be your best friend.

sometimes i ask myself why am i doing all the work when i hardly get support...even the priest are not helping much or supportive. i get sick of all the politics, all the trouble makers and unhelpful priest.

i know its bad to condem them, but we are humans. we tend to be weak and we do sin.

but i take heart, and i praise God. I pray for strength to keep me going, that what i do is for the good of the church and to serve God. the reason why we all go to church is becasue we recognised we are sinners and NOT angels. to take shit from people is to learn to be humble and have compassion and love.

my unhappiness is zero compare to the man who die on the cross for everyone......good and especially the bad ones.

God help us all. Amen

another useless thought.