its 4am. i was awake doing some work. start my day early... i mean earlier!!

by 6 i was in the shower preparing to go to the office. at 630am, i was out of the house and driving... children are going to schools..

it was at this point that a useless thought came into my mind.

death. i was thinking, how many people die a natural death? can we just sleep and pass on or must we really suffer all kinds of illness before death comes a knocking?

maybe because i was at a wake last night. not sure if she suffer but death for her was swift. she was still alive and kicking in church and in pink of health on sunday... and yesterday she was lying there... motionless.

man always talks about a good death. no suffering, no illness and no pain.. but in reality, death is almost ugly. everyone suffer before death.

how many people do we know that did not suffer any illness at all, and die of old age in your sleep? not many i suppose, or maybe none at all!!!

so i was thinking maybe i should stop thinking about a peaceful death and prepare myself mentally and physically for a long and painful death... at least when the time comes, i know what to expect.

morbid but true.

another useless thought.