the on going political saga in the malaysia is sad....

sad for the people, sad for justice, sad for development, sad for the religion, sad for the leaders...and the oppositions and sad for the country.

if... and that's a BIG IF... everyone plays a fair game, what is happening today will not be happening. Man hungry for power and man's pride and refusal to admit their mistake and be like a man is the result of all these drama.

it makes me think and reflected on a meeting i had in church last week. and till today, 5 days after that meeting, i am still sad and very bothered by it.

i don't think i did wrong, but i guess i could have done it better.

it like this. we had a big feast day celebration in june last month. the pope have declared this year, the year of saint paul, our church being the church of saints peter and paul, it was a big feat day for us. we have a statue of st paul made to celebrate this day. the archbishop was here to celebrate it with us.

the committee did a good job planning everything to the detail. but as usual, there are bound to be screw ups, but i am fine with it. everyone in the committee have a task to make the whole celebration work.

so in that meeting which i chaired, i asked the warden one question...only one. "WHY is it that the wardens were not told of what to do?"

the wardens are suppose to block the foyer and keep the congregation away so that the celebrant can procession towards the church main door together with other religious and alter servers. if the congregation stands in the foyer, no way can the procession take place.

5 mins before procession, i came out from choir practise and saw the foyer crowded with people. the wardens.... the were all leaning on the pillars no doing anything...for a moment i thought the church was going to collapse and the wardens were actually supporting the church. so i asked them why are they not doing their job..... to my surprise.... " WE WERE NOT TOLD WHAT TO DO."

i quickly mobilised every one get the wardens to block the foyer and ask the MC to tell the congregation to move away....

the mass went on.

so at the meeting, i asked this very very simple question, "WHY is it that the wardens were not told of what to do?"

the purpose of this meeting is to debrief, give constructive feedback so that we can do better in the next celebration. i don't allow rubbish in the meeting. i ask them to give me names of the person who criticised to make comment. i don't allow people to say "someone say this...or that..." give me the names so that if need be, i want to verify. again my logic is simple, if you want to say something, be brave to admit it, don't shrink form it and hide behind a nameless face. I know, because meeting like these with lots of complain last for hours, which i don't like. its easy to complain, but hard to give constructive feedback.

the representative of the wardens give me lots of cock and bull story.... but i turn him round and asked again "WHY is it that the wardens were not told of what to do?" that is all i want to know i said. there was a moment of uncomfortable silence....

in the end, i think i raised my voice and sounded angry....

i could have articulate that better.... i am not sure... i am sad because the rep is a long time friend and a very senior person. he knows the church better than anyone, and i respect him for that. but to me, if the wardens are not briefed and told what to do, someone have to be responsible. God don't make things work by us not doing anything. the congregation will not move away from the foyer to make way for the procession.

but to me, everyone have a job to do to make the event a success. the wardens plays an important role. no procession, no mass.... no mass...no celebration.

the meeting ended is a sour note i guess. i was particularly unhappy. my logic is simple, just admit that you did not do the job and we move on. i hate people giving excuses, if its wrong its wrong..... what's more, the wardens themselves told me they were not told what to do. i get pissed. i get angry. the more they defend the more angry i get.

i could not eat my lunch that day. and i got a bad headache, even till the next day.

my apologies to everyone in the meeting and especially to the priest who was also sitting in the meeting. my apology is not for what i have said in the meeting, but for the way i behave in the meeting. i am not sure what got over me.

so if everyone admit their wrong doings, this world will be a better place. at least thats the first step. the next step is for all to forgive.

good luck to my neighbour up north.

another useless thought