Wednesday, January 04, 2012

I have been struggling a long time. My mind is really messed up. I honestly do not think i did anything wrong, but neither am i sure that i am right!

Hmm..... Well i guess i have to live with some of my decisions. Right or wrong i should stand by what i believe and not be swayed by others.

No regrets! Life is really too short for regrets.

Another useless thoughts.
I should be brave and just walk away and do what i want to do and be happy. Life is too short to regret later.... My time can be shorter than what i think it might be.

Actually no one knows, if He comes a calling.... everything will be too late.

Another useless thought.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

and so uncle james is gone....
all in the space of a week....

how fragile is life..... when God cometh.... nothing can stop Him from taking
rest in peace and may enternal life and joy be upon all who have return home... to the Lord.

my time will come... it could be soon.... it all in God's time
and as we wait, we get ourselves ready for His coming for we all know not when, where or how

another useless thought.

Monday, February 14, 2011

i went to visit a church friend yesterday in the hospice...

i must say i am shock to see the state he was in... no doubt he is already over 70 years of age.
i am shock because just a few weeks ago i saw him in church he was still walking and talking to me and the wife.

although earlier i notice he has lost a lot of weight. and the a week after, he was very yellowish...
i thought he must have liver problem or something... and it could be a fast death....

i told the wife...and she suddenly notice..and she went to ask him if he was ok....

although he lost a lot of weight, he told us the doctor could not find anything wrong with him....

we went to visit him yesterday.... a priest told me he is in the hospice!!
now, he is in the hospice... it only means death... he look so frail....

my tears almost flow....i feel the pain.... my wife told me he asked about me when she visited him sometime ago... so i felt i must go pay him a visit...and fast.....

although he was weak and could not say a word... he seem to know that we have come to see him.... i was very sad..... i must admit, he is a little annoying... but maybe because he is an old man.... its just the action.. i could be like that when and IF i reach his age....

i held his hand and called him..... we pray over him and then left.... with a heavy heart. we did not stay long as we wanted him to rest as he must be tired with so many visitors....

as we leave the room.... he wave good bye....

i thought....wow... he mustered all his strength to wave.....
its a matter of time now.....

be strong uncle james..... you are going home to the lord.....

another useless... sad thought
life alone in japan for 12 hours...

life without the wife with me in narita is kind of scary....

and here is my story....

i followed the wife to work on the second day of the lunar new year.. yap..i am starting AND keeping with my own tradition of NOT staying at home during the most boring festive season.....

such irony...i said festive and YET its so boring..... there is really nothing to do except to eat and sleep at the place we visit.....sigh..... at least when i was younger and not married i look forward to taking red packet from the elders... but now.... i give...and give...and give.....

anyways....

the wife left me in japan and when to work. to be exact she left me for 12 hours in a foreign land that speaks NO english....

but i must say its an adventure for me.... after doing so church work in the hotel... i left for the town at 130pm.... and in the bus many thoughts came into my mind....

the dream that i had the night before.... we had a big fight and we decided to divorced each other as we cannot stand each other face anymore..... this was IT!!!....

As i walk alone in the cold i kept thinking of the dream... WHY do we even think of divorcing?... now i feel so lonely and helpless... this is surely the feeling if we are to part and go our separate ways... and for what? i can't remember the fight we had in the dream.. i fact i can hardly remember the fight we have in real life... its seems so trivial.

it is really sad to see couple divorced be it trivial or grave.... things can be worked out IF we all try. Maybe its time we truly treasure what we have n0w when we are all still alive. why fight?. In fact, God made marriage so sacred that He made it a sacrament, holy and pure. He said "what God unite, man cannot divide". when death comes a knocking...it is all but too late.

then i went to aeon supermarket and got myself and the wife some food for dinner and strawberry mochi for a colleague to is head over heels over it. i got 10 of it..... but i only gave her 7...cos i gave 3 away .....oops.....

my time alone in a foreign land is near the end... i am now in the bus on the way back to the hotel...the wife is coming back to meet me in the hotel....

its such a relief for me.... to have my guardian angel back by my side.... guarding and guilding me in my life...

another useless thought

Thursday, January 06, 2011

irony...

you work hard so that you can have a purposeful and meaningful life. So you study hard so that you can make good money to lead a comfortable life, tour the world, live a life of luxury and eat all the best food you can find... maybe start a family.....

nice picture of life?

the irony is.... when you start to work.. you get totally stressed out.... work is so hectic that you have practically no time for anything except more work and... well... more work....and then you will start to smoke and drink to relief that stress at work and in life....

you may earn big bucks, but all the money will go on to pay all your medical bills... cos you will be get heart problem, weak kidneys, fats around the liver... cancer..... and what not... suddenly.... time will be a stand still for you.....

then you realised money is not everything... life is.... but then its too late.... you will die soon from all your illness.....

so.. i guess its really good to be a bum!! no work no stress.... live a free and easy lifestyle....
to begin with.. you don't even need to study let alone study hard.... no 'O' levels.... 'A' levels.... university..... pHd!!!!!

live life... be a bum!

another useless thought

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

2 months or so ago...we were having dinner with some friends when we met another church friend at a coffee shop.

we were talking and then out of no where we were talking about majong and when we should meet and play a game or two.... since they have been talking about it since the longest time....

then the church friend say that her mother in law likes to play...and maybe we should play with here... no stress kind of majong session...just for fun.....

last sunday..... we went to her mother in law's wake. yes...she is gone.... talk about playing majong with here will never materialized.

moral of the story? well maybe we should just do thing... never delay things we want to accomplish... cos we may never have the chance again.... just like the mother in law.

we may live to regret things in life.

another useless thought.

Monday, January 03, 2011

i read in the papers that the aide to the PM in our neighbouring country wanted the catholic church to remove all crucifix when the PM visit the church ground...to preserve his Islamic look...

er.... is this about politics or is it religion? is this the mark of a leader of a country?

I will be very very disappointed if the church decided to remove the crucifix just to accommodate the PM.... how can they lower God for a human being? already it is not right for them to say grace before the PM came...why should they? if the PM is not happy he can don't attend the function at all.

this is out right bias, narrow minded, prejudice, chauvinism, bigotry
and it goes to show how narrow minded they are in thinking, action and deeds! and may i ask how can they progress as a government... a politician and a leader!

.... maybe the 10% won't be voting for them now..... and they should not!

I am not sure, but i don't think we should wear our faith like a piece clothing. its is not about appearance, slogans and talk! talk is CHEAP. It is in the heart. in our action and in our love for ALL human race. it is about total tolerance about who practice what faith.

I am also shock to read that his aide mentioned something like there are only 10% of christian in the country.... and 90% are Muslim...and the church should not celebrate Christmas like in such a big scale, they should respect the 90%

is that religious tolerance?? is he threatening those who are of different race and religion? to me he is.... he is warning all those who practice a different faith to shut up and don't take their stay in the country for granted...cos they are second class....

mind you, the only reason why Christmas is like a big celebration is not celebrated by the church, BUT by the business man, the money grabber! the people who are out to make huge profit in the name of our great God, Jesus Christ.

i mean what is the PM trying to tell the country when he was always preaching (no punt there) about unity? and One something....

oh well i don't live there.... so let them do what they want. I just hope the church there stand firm and have faith in God.

another useless thought
the wife: hey, this skirt is nice ya?

me: yap!

sales girl (FT): can i help you?

the wife: do you have medium size?

sales girl: oh, this one we only have xtra small.... but i don't worry, you can wear it, it looks nice on you.

me: WHAT!!

a good sales girl? or a dumb consumer?

well many girls will fall for this trick.. thinking that you can fit into a xtra small size skirt with a medium size body!!

me: lets go! she is nuts!

another useless thought
2010 came and went....

2011 is here and its been 3 days! what have i been doing for the past 3 days of 2011?
NOTHING....

what did i do in 2010? NOTHING....

so much for consistency...ahhhaa

but seriously... 2010 have been an eventful year for me. on top of my mind... my near cancer experience. i thought that this was it. my time was here... my work here is done.

fortunately, God still have some stuff for me to do here... so he is sort of letting me off this time.
so here i am, waiting for my next mission, though i am not sure what he has in store for me.

of course there are some unhappy incidents... but then, there are also many many more happy incidents that came my way.... no lah....never stike 4D... oh!!!!.... BUT i did strike TOTO!!! yap.... SGD20!!!! not too bad for me already. its a HUGE windfall!... with that the prize money.... the wife and me went to eat at a hawker centre for lunch! nice.

whats in stall in 2011? i don't know. but for sure we will be shifting to our new home.... if all goes well. I hope it will also be a new beginning and a new life.

on top of my wish list... to consistently go for my jogging...and then do my half marathon and then hopefully a FULL marathon.... without the oxygen mask at the end of course! this is one resolution i wish to keep for 2011. get my health back.

as for my work its been so so.... well work here is very a ify thing..... which i dont know.... kind of unstable here.... some people are unstable! hahahaaa

i will listen to God for his advice. i will walk where he leads me, no question asked.

here's to another fruitful year... and wishing one and all good health... and peace.

another well thought thought.... heh!

Friday, December 24, 2010

on this night, a saviour has been born to us and save us from sin. His name is emmanual (God is with us).

yap...

bet many of us never knew that. most of us is thinking about the fat guy with a long white bread and dress in red riding with his red nose rain deer!! throwing present and sliding down roof tops! its not about santa claus.... not about shopping for gifts... eating turkey.... or partying and drinking!

.....

heres wishing one and all a blessed christmas and a happy new 2011!
may the good lord continue to bless us in the new year. guide us with his wisdom and his love.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

whatever happen to my country?

suddenly, everything seems to be wrong!... its not like 20 - 30 years ago.....
things seems to go wrong more often than usual...

rising cost of living.... rising cost in public housing.... rising cost in public transport... rising cost on food, products and services..... rising cost electricity and water... work becomes more stressful.... escape of prisoners.... loss of money in investments.... the rich and poor divide....

we do wrong we pay the price.... even the 'pai ka' who escape was the people's fault... and some people get away with it! the miw do wrong... we move on..cos its pointless to dwell in the past!

maybe the world is more open to day than years ago... we are more exposed and more prone to external forces.... in the internet age.... i guess everything is an open book!

well the year is coming to a close.... happy new year one and all.... let just hope for the next in the year to come... vote wisely!

another useless thought.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

wikileaks.... is it wrong?

i am not sure.... can you imagine the stuff the americans discuss about with other politicians!! we will never know if not for this wikileaks! it sure is an embarrassment to them! yes it will damage their relationship with the other countries.... and by the way... i am not even sure they have good relationship with any countries!!

don't blame wikileaks.... its the americans who brought this upon themselves..... all the security they have talked about are all....well....just talks!

i got to go for a wiki to take a leak now... no time to talk about this.....

another useless thought
the cancun summit in mexico.....

well its really 'can kun'..... in hokkien, it means can sleep!

ALL the award winning politicians can go sleep and stop wasting resources and time discussing about something that will NOT happen i think WILL NEVER HAPPEN..... because they are all more interested in making money... you think they are serious about climate control? save the environment?

imagine all the tress cut down to make papers for them to print all the useless document! all the fuel and energy they are wasting the cars the travel in... the plane that they come in from.... the lights and air conditioning ...... all the tax payers money...... that can be used for more meaningful purpose like feeding hunger children!...

imagine their carbon foot print! well maybe there can be another summit to stop all these useless summit!

yap...really 'can kun'

another useless thought
gambling.... its been around since prostitution came into being... since gambling and prostitution goes hand in hand....

malaysia is up in arm over singapore because their people are coming over to gamble and losing shit loads of money...and neglecting families back home..... i sense that they are putting the blame squarely on singapore and WE are responsible for the shit back in their homeland....

i wonder... why they even allowed genting to be built up in the mountain?.... why did they not BAN it out right!!

now they are saying that its bad..... well its not that bad when they have it on their mountain... BUT when there is another one.... or 2 near their shores..... thats BAD!!!

hypocrites?... i should think so. or maybe its just pure jealousy.... cos we have a bigger and better casino then they have? or is it because sillyporeans are now losing money at home and not on their mountain?

your guess is as good as mine....

another useless thought

Friday, December 10, 2010

the thai king is the most revered king in the land.... everyone in the land respected him... he is like god to the people and everyone are suppose to listen to him...

strange but true... it seems that all the politicians there should be thrown into jail for NOT listening to their king's call for peace and unity....

what the politicians have done is divide and sub divide the country..... look at thailand today.... the land of a thousand smiles..... it is becoming yellow...red and pink! i wonder if anymore colors will come in.......

looks like that smile just got wipe out! hardly anyone is smiling now..... i suppose not even the king....

another useless thought.
the noble peace prize... a supposedly prestigious prize for anyone to get in his or her lifetime.....

such an irony prize too be getting.....

with every prize that is given out... it create more tension and endanger peace in the process.....

china is the latest to be angry with it...

how nice... the noble 'peace' prize

another useless thought
100 accidents on the expressways daily.... that's the headline i read the other day...and these excludes accidents on other roads......

there are so many accidents nowadays involving picks and lorries.... that i think is about time the authorities should do something!!

i have driven on the expressway after midnight and this picks and lorries are going at breakneck speed!... at least 120km/h!! and the are zig zagging across expressways and on main roads!

how many times have i cheated death on the roads with these idiots on the roads!! they cut into your lane....swirl in and out of traffic at high speed...

to be fair.... private cars are also culprits!! people who drive high performance car! i am not generalizing them.... but i have encountered quite a few of them on the road! and i just encountered one today while on the road!!

i mean what the hell are these people thinking?

and here we are catching people who drive into bus lanes..... illegal parking..... parking on double yellow lines.... parking at season parking lots..... when out there... these huge vehicles are killing people out there!!

something is very wrong with who comes out from the driving schools! can they really drive? are these new drivers ready for the real world?

WHAT ABOUT CURBING THESE HUGE VEHICLES FROM SPEEDING?? is it really so difficult to limit their speed to 50 or 60km/h?

must some important people get killed before some one will do something to stop this madness???? maybe...maybe not.....

i don't know.... i am just ranting....

another useless thought